it went…the never ending illness !!
As today has been quite a good day, I’ve got Jillian to bring me the computer so I can try and catch up on a few things like emails and my webpage. So, here I am.
I was supposed to be in hospital last week having an operation, but because of my lousy blood results the Doctor cancelled. I have had two tests just over a week apart and was very excited to get a marginal improvement in the second week, though 800 white soldiers instead of 700 still isn’t that fantastic AND, keep in mind, I should have a minimum of 4,000….but I was pleased and, considering it got as low as 300 in the early days, it gave me a much needed little boost.
I’m ‘medicating’ up at the moment as I’m about to start another run of bone marrow sampling and blood testing. Please god there’s been an improvement because if there hasn’t, we running out of places to go.
I still have to avoid all sick people though, which isn’t that difficult in a village with 400 people and great clean air. There’s a constant supply of Jewish antibiotics (chicken soup filled with freshly slaughtered free range chicken and chemical free winter garden vege) coming across the road from my fabulous neighbour, Hristina.
I asked Jillian to bring me some jelly crystals, because you can’t get them here yet. My reason for asking was to do with cooking, but as I’m not doing any, I’ve rediscovered the joy of eating jelly. Quite possibly helping to keep me alive 🙂
Having Jillian here has been so healing for me. I know there was a huge spike in my improvement when she first arrived, but I think a lot of that was pure excitement and I seem to have settled back into a circle of good days and bad. She’s gone from being my strength, my support and my nurse and added dog walker and carer, turkey buddy, garage sorter and clean up miracle lady and even hairdresser. I got it into my head to put a colour through my hair the other day. Hey, I look like shit …I’m all scrawny and my hair is just a mess, and I thought a bit of colour might help. Got my ambitions mixed up with my capabilities, didn’t I ? Got the colour in, got the hair tied up and then went to pieces. I’m finding if I stand too long, I become really nauseous and very weak. So there I am in the bathroom, too weak to call out, hardly able to stand and wondering if lying on the bathroom floor would be good or bad for my struggling health. Thank god Jillian got a little concerned about the silence and came and retrieved me. She helped me to the sofa so I could lie down ( after covering the pillows with plastic…I’ve got dark auburn dye in my hair remember ) and there I remained until the sickness passed…far too long for the colour in my hair, let me tell you. When I eventually had the strength to be led back to the bathroom, where Jillian then rinsed my hair out, I emerged a much darker haired woman…and I don’t think it helps the whole sick look. Porcelain white skin against dark, dark hair…Goth gone wrong springs to mind.
Anyway, that kinda led to a few days back in bed. I’ve been sleeping like the dead and Jillian insists I stay, as long as I feel better for it. And I confess to feeling better and better when I do sleep my days and nights away.
And let’s not forget the fabulous food she is cooking for me. OK, I can only manage a very small plate but she’s making me wonderful food full of wonderful flavours and all based on just what benefits my blood will get from it. So it’s not just about soup & jelly. I’ve been treated to salmon & chicken poached in garlic oil with lots of lovely ‘blood’ veges…beetroot, broccoli, mushrooms, all served with rice or potatoes. Mind you, I still get menu envy a lot because Jillian’s having even more lovely stuff that I can’t eat. I’d love a slice of toasted pannetoni or some Christmas cake, but they’re just not on the list at the moment.
I’m still losing weight but have decided there will be no new clothes. I actually bought a belt the other day, the first one I have ever owned, and I think I only got it because Jillian didn’t think tying my jeans up with string was a good look.
I think I am truly finding out the meaning of the words ‘fragile’ & ‘feeble’. This is just so debilitating and I’m used to being strong and able. It’s very hard for me. All my muscle has gone so I have nothing to ‘hold’ me up when I want to climb stairs or go for a little walk. My legs shake and my heart goes into overdrive, and that’s when I do bugger all. I look like a baby elephant who’s trying to survive a drought…muscles are gone, fat’s disappearing but the skin remains. I have all the skin and nothing to put in it. I can’t even look at myself anymore. It was funny at first…not any more.
Anyway, I don’t have a lot of news, given that the scope of my world has been reduced to my bedroom and the lounge room.
I’m having an airing tomorrow as I head to Yambol for blood test #20. Lets hope these result are good…I’ll keep you posted.
back to sleep for me……ciao for now
Read Full Post »