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29/03  Well, what a month I’ve had….and there’s still a couple of days to go.  I wonder what little surprises are still in store for me.?  Hopefully, none !!

I’m not even really sure where to start this because I’m so very far behind.  Even through all the bleakness of the last few weeks, there’s still been a few of those moments in time that have amused and entertained me and I’ll commit them to paper sooner or later…most likely later.

I’ve decided to start at the end and work my way back……shouldn’t be too confusing.

And I guess the first thing is, at least now I know where the Yambol Hospital is. 🙂This is very difficult entry because I don’t want to offend and the care given me by the ward staff was absolutley fantastic. But the hospital itself?  I don’t even know where to start. Suffice to say, it’s not a place I want to find myself again.

I think we soft westerners have this romantic notion about living in Bulgaria and I can assure you that a visit to hospital will very quickly crush many of those notions.  And we can all sit here and say if we get sick we’ll fly straight out to the UK or wherever…but what happens if, like me, you’re just too sick to travel ?  We can all sit here and say we’ll have private insurance, so we’ll be OK, but no amount of private health insurance is going to change the conditions on offer in the hospitals.  This is a system that’s been ignored for the last 50-60 years and nothing but a massive injection of money will change what you will find when you go through the front doors. Under investment, overcrowding and a staff that seem to perform miracles under the most difficult conditions you could ever imagine, except perhaps in a front line hospital under enemy fire.

And forget about high tech, new fangled technology…this place doesn’t even have the machine that goes ‘ping’.  But then again, perhaps new fangled, hi tech isn’t always best…and so to my problem, or at least a major part of it.

I was taken to hospital on March 20^th because I couldn’t breath, couldn’t get any air down my throat, and the assumption was that I was suffering from severe asthma. Now, I do have what they call ‘adult onset asthma’ but it’s only ever been a very small thorn in my side, causing me very little trouble and yet here I was, suddenly unable to get any air and wondering if there was some way to tear a hole in my throat in order to get some into my lungs. While I was gasping for air, I could feel something moving in my throat and every now & again, it would stick and completely block off the airway.

Once they had me stable at the hospital, I mentioned this feeling in my throat.  I had another attack while staff from the agents office were with me and so it was organised that someone would take a look at it, just in case.

I tottered off to see the Ear, Nose and Throat guy, a very sweet young man who looked about 12 years old, but the tiredest looking12 year old you’de see in a days march. This guy looked overworked and exhausted.  Remember, we’re talking no hich tech facilities here, so no cameras, no shiny things. He had a mirror like dentists use, which he sterilised by dipping in alcohol and holding over his cigarette lighter.  He had one of those things you see on pictures of doctors in the ‘50s, the thing that they put on their head with the big round disc on the front that they look through…I don’t know what it’s called.  He grabbed my tongue and pulled it about as far out of my head as he could without pulling it off, he secured it down with a piece of gauze and then told me to say ‘E’.  Try it at home and see how you go….not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination…but all that was needed to find the problem.  A fibroid on my vocal chords, inflamed, swollen from the infection, blocking off my airway and stopping my vocal chords from moving, hence no voice.

I spent ten years working as a radio announcer and during that time, I started losing my voice.  I have been going to doctors in Australia and Scotland for the last ten years asking why I keep losing my voice, being told that it was asthma or smoking, but no one ever bothering to take the time to have a look down my throat. This guy here in Yambol tells me that this fibroid has been there for at least ten years and is astounded that no one has ever found it. With 50 year old medical equipment and a wee bit of effort, he managed to find it in about 5 minutes.

Of course, once the problem was found and treatment to reduce it started, my condition improved expedentially.

It was indeed a real scare and as much as any of us say we’ve had a good life and if it’s time to go, it’s time to go, when actually faced with the prospect of dying, be buggered if we want to go at all.  I really did think it was all over the other night…I guess not being able to breathe does that to you.

The cause ?  Well, obviously my years of smoking have not helped but the major problem now is the polyp on my voice box.    What occured here was a result of that dreadful virus that I had.  I had infection right through my chest, throat, ears and nose….it was pernicious and tenacious.  The nodule in my throat got infected and inflamed and basically blocked my airways……so it could have killed me, simple as that.  If I hadn’t been able to remain calm, I would have choked to death. It also exacerbated the asthma that I do suffer from, and the cumilative effect was very grim indeed.The doctor has suggested surgery and once the inflamation has gone, I will be returning to see him for a chat. And given that no ‘western’ doctor was able to find it in 10 years, I reckon I’m as well getting it done here as anywhere. So, the prognosis…I do have the same adult asthma that I’ve had for about 8 years but add a fibroid in my throat and a very nasty infection to the mix, and all was not well in the kingdom of Miladinovtsi.I’m much better now and safely ensconced in the Big Hoose again. Though there is a wee part of me considering if this is actually the place that I should be at this stage of life…things to think about when the fear has gone.I must take this time to thank each and everyone of you that sent messages of concern and get well messages.  I was very touched to find so many emails on my return from hospital.  Thank you.

As you all know, I have expressed some misgivings about my ability and suitability for life here in this country……I think all those misgivings have now come home to roost and who knows what effect time will have on my feelings.